Drowning
by A-Rembrandt-of-Grief
Summary: Harry saves Draco from drowning, both literally and methaphorically. This is my first fic, please review, rated M for later chapters.


Draco stood alone by the lake edge gazing into its crystal serenity. The waters hard blue perfection reflected in his usual steel gray eyes, making his face appear far kinder and more vulnerable then it had ever looked before. Even to Draco the difference was startling, it endowed him with a feeling that suggested he actually was human, despite the fact he was a Malfoy and already lined up to be one of the new generation of Death Eater. These feelings were foreign to him and he quickly tore his eyes away from the gentle reflection that showed his true soul, the one that wasn't masked with the pride and hate born into him by his father. After shaking the strange image out of his head he returned his gaze to the water, staring out into the middle of it. It was so calm and eerily still, but Draco knew it was not weak. It was elemental and possessed powers to be reckoned with. Even as it looked so peaceful he couldn't help closing his eyes and imagining he was falling down into the deafening silence and haunting shades of blue. That was how tomorrow would be he thought. Damn that mangy half-breed Hagrid, it had been his idea of a field trip, to travel down into the city of the Merpeople and show the Care of Magical Creatures class how humanoid creatures lived and functioned as a community. All the other students including the Slytherins had chatted excitedly amongst themselves only Draco had seemed unpleased with the planned event. He had stood there first looking stunned as if just hit with a foul spell of some kind, but then his eyes softened to a soft shade of pearl and a look of deep regret and worry took over his face. He soon masked his expression back to disdain, but not soon enough. One person had noticed, the one person Draco would never want to know of his weakness.

Across the setting dusk, high in his dormitory tower sat Harry. He was alone in the room, forgotten by his friends as they played wizards chess, sitting on the windows ledge gazing out upon the manicured premises. A glint of white-blond caught his eye; it was Malfoy standing by the waters edge. 'Strange', he thought, 'he looks so unreal like a mirage or spirit'. The figure was very pale, almost translucent, only the black of his robes revealed he wasn't a wandering ghost. 'What is he doing out there' Harry wondered. He appeared to be transfixed by the waters surface as if it held all the answers to life's mysteries. 'Maybe he's thinking about Care of Magical Creatures tomorrow, no Malfoy hadn't seemed all to excited about Hagrids news'. Harry closed his eyes and could see Draco's face as it had been a day ago, his eyes had faded into a beautiful pearl that contained both tragedy and beauty looking more vulnerable then he had ever thought possible. He opened his eyes and the image dissolved into Hogwarts landscape, which was now beginning to be over run with a misty fog; it was disturbingly beautiful like Malfoys eyes had been. No Harry thought forcing himself down to reality and stopping the cloud of butterflies that had decided to migrate into his stomach during his recent mental wanderings. 'Ugh why was I even thinking about that git ', he thought, but the truth was Harry had been having a hard time forgetting him ever since he had witnessed the pass of emotion over Malfoys face. Out in the mist a sudden movement caught Harry's eye, disrupting his reverie. Draco was now pacing back and forth in front of the lake, something was definitely wrong with him and it soon became apparent. As Harry watched, with an unwavering stare, Malfoy began to disrobe until all that he was left wearing was his boxers. His skin was milky white, the mist and now rising moon cast an eerie luminous glow upon his creamy complexion, making it appear as though he was glowing from the inside out. He was lithe and muscular, moving with refined grace as he lifted his arms above his head in an awkward stretch that defined his muscles with an untrained elegance. Harry knew he should have taking his eyes away from this forbidden and utterly disturbing pleasure long ago but the feeling, though foreign, felt so right it itched through his veins snaring his senses as he watched Malfoy dive into the dark waters. In the midst of his pleasure a distant memory had hit him, Malfoy back in there 3rd year when they faced a Boggart in Defense Against the Dark Arts. When it had been Malfoys turn to face it the monster had transfigured itself into a rush of water that he then preceded to turn into a small harmless puddle. When questioned by Crabbe as to why he feared water he had replied in a voice that he thought no one heard that he couldn't swim.

Shit! Harry thought urgently he's going to drown what the hell is he doing out there if he can't swim! After a few seconds Malfoy still hadn't surfaced, Harry grew more and more worried like a bucket filling with water until it overflowed. Throwing on his customary cloak he bolted open the dormitory door and ignoring furtive questions from Ron and Hermione threw open the portrait hole greatly displeasing the Fat Lady in Silk. He ran full speed down corridors and when he finally reached the Grand Entrance doors he burst through them into the fog filled air feeling the wet chilling cold sneak up about his ankles leaving a wet residue upon them. 'Dear god, don't let me be to late' he thought as he reached the waters edge where Malfoy had stood no sooner then five minutes ago. This is going to be freezing Harry thought, a second before he dove into the still reflective mirror before him. Down he went; the cold engulfed him and produced a startled outtake of breath that came out as a silvery bubble. All around him was dark barely anything could be seen, aside from the eerie blueness that was every where around him. His senses were completely dulled. 'Light, I need light', he thought frantically as he plunged his hand into his cloak pocket and produced his wand, it felt slightly warm to his touch as it awakened to its owner.

"Lumos!" Harry yelled, and with that a beam of light erupted from his wand tip, slicing through the blue darkness and reveling underground cliffs in the distance. 'Where is he' Harry thought, desperately trying to find Malfoy's form in the lightened water while ignoring his vastly deflating breath. Surfacing quickly to gulp some air he spotted a thin weak trail of bubbles coming up from his left. Without a moments hesitation he dove down once again. His wand, still alight, revealed a lengthy form in the distance. It was Draco, looking more like a spirit then ever with his skin a bright contrast against the darkness engulfing him as he floated with his back arched so that his chest was upraised toward the oxygen giving surface. Harry closed the distance between him and Malfoy, grabbing him under the shoulders and painfully kicking forward with powerful strokes. The seconds felt like hours and when he finally broke the surface and took in a grateful breath he was exhausted. His legs and arms seared with cramps that scorched up his muscles, but still he pushed forth toward the bank, where he dragged Malfoy up onto the sand.

It was horrible, he looked as if he was dead, covered in sand, his hair silver in the moonlight was covered in now crystallized water that stuck to his slicked back hair. He's not moving Harry thought bewildered, he opened Malfoys mouth slightly and leaned over him to listen for some form of breathing. It was ragged and faint but there was a whisper of air in his ear, placing two fingers on Malfoy's delicate right wrist a tiny struggled pulse greeted his touch, sending electric jolts of happiness through him. He needs CPR now Harry resolved mentally; thank god for the Muggle health classes he was forced to take early on in life. He slowly tilted Malfoys head back slightly and sealed his lips around the other boys, it was horrible like kissing a corpses cold lips. He breathed into him twice before stopping and leaving Malfoys face to locate his diaphragm, which he placed his, intertwined palms upon, and with medium pressure pressed down upon the vulnerable area fifteen times. Slowly a response came from the pale figure before him, he stirred and a grimace passed over his face that gave way to a spasm of horse coughs resulting in a lot of lake water exiting his lungs in a most painful way. He's alive Harry thought with a wave of relief.

The darkness ebbed away slowly and the dull pains in his chest and throat grew into what felt like horrible stabbing knife wounds, each more painful then the last as he choked and coughed violently. Finally hot spurts of water shot out of his mouth and ran down his naked chest in rivulets. He opened his eyes slowly, every thing was foggy but through the fog he spotted a pair of emerald eyes starring back at him with unvoiced concern and relief. His vision returned sluggishly and revealed the matching dark messy hair and strange lightning bolt scare that accompanied the startling green eyes. It wasn't a traditionally handsome face, but attractive none the less, and as Malfoy stared into the wonderful eyes of jade he felt a certain completeness as if he wasn't whole until he had gazed into them completely unmasked by his disdain and arrogance. Then the slow realization of who it was hit him like a ton of bricks as his senses returned, taking over his dull awareness. It was like waking up from a drug filled night before and having the hangover hit you twice as fast.

"P-P-Potter," Draco stammered "what are you doing?" His voice was horribly quite almost a whisper, but contained his usual hint of disdain that made Harry feel at fault.

" Saving your life," Harry started boldly, " although I'm not sure why considering you don't seem all to pleased". Draco's face changed, but not for the better as Harry thought it would, he seemed angrier and slightly embarrassed as he threw on his cloak.

"You have no right to look at me like that, I just saved your life, you should be bloody thankful," he raged, his own anger building to the surface, "What the hell were you doing any ways? Taking swimming lessons with out an instructor?" " I didn't ask for your help," Draco stated " and I certainly didn't ask you to attach your mouth to mine." Deep down he knew it was wrong to yell at Harry, but truthfully he hadn't wanted to be saved. Better to die with honorable suicide then to be weak.

" Believe me Malfoy if there were another way to get you breathing again that didn't involve putting my mouth on yours I would've done it" Harry said glaring at Draco " And if I didn't help you, you would be dead."

"Don't pretend to be concerned" Draco shot back " we both know my death would be as meaningless to you as a fly's life." No one else would care either he thought bitterly. To his father he was a mere possession and his mother never understood him. Harry gave him an odd look as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't.

"Draco were you trying to kill yourself?" his voice was soft, but in the silent mist it boomed clearly stating the truth Draco didn't want to admit.

" No," started Draco slowly, " I was going swimming that's all and some seaweed caught me and I couldn't get to the surface quick enough." It was a down right lie and he had the feeling Harry could tell as he folded his arms and fixed him with a cool gaze.

" Malfoy I know you don't know how to swim I heard you tell Crab back in 3rd year" Harry said smugly. For the second time Harry saw the real Draco the one hidden from the world, he stared at Harry with gray satin eyes showing only pain and fear. He raised himself gracefully from the grass and ran his hand through his hair the water trickled down his bar chest and a few stray hairs dangled in front of his eyes. Slowly he dressed and walked over to a tree and braced him self against it as if for support.

" Yes Potter I wanted to die," His fingers grasped at the trees rough bark as if for support and little shards of blood marred his hand. Harry looked at Draco's figure through the mist he looked so vulnerable and it filled Harry with a pain deep in his soul. He looks so beautiful he thought sadly, it's tragic. Noticing the blood on Draco's hands he slowly walked over barely making any noise on the carpet of shiny green beneath his feet, he took Draco's hand with a slight protest from him and wiped the blood with his cloak. He was about to let go of the hand when he spotted a gash on the wrist, it had scabbed over but it must have bleed alot when opened.

Draco turned his face away ashamed as Harry slowly pulled back his sleeve and examined the scars and gashes one of the more recent claiming "A Malfoy is Power" stood out horribly. He could feel Harry's hand gently run over his canvas of pain and sorrow. Feel the piercing stare of those emeralds on the profile of his face, but he couldn't bring himself to meet them it was all too surreal. Harry also felt the obscurity of the moment, he'd saved an enemy's life and couldn't help but be sympathetic. He'd never known his parents, but also he had never known the pressure of parent's expectations, especially ones as strong as a Malfoy's. All of a sudden Draco yanked his arm away, still avoiding Harry's gaze, and pulled down his sleeve.

" I suppose you think I'm a freak for doing this," He said breaking the silence intrusively. " Am I?" He said quietly more to himself then Harry, but when he was answered in silence anger quickly ebbed its way into him.

" Am I Potter!" he yelled, " do u think this is the disturbing art of a madmen!" Whirling around and thrusting the mutilated arm into Harry's line of view. Still he received no response only deafening silence and with it the urge to pummel Potter till he got a reply be it bad or good, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead he reached into his clock pocket and pulled out a pocketknife, opening it with a small click that drew Harry's attention. The moon hit its sharp curve glinting in Dracos eyes, now a metallic silver, and to Harrys horror he slashed a line slowly onto his arm. Blood blossomed forth streaming down his arm and dripping off his fingers. Harry closed the short distance between them, shaking his head almost wearily as he walked. He gently tried to take the knife from Draco, but was met with a shove in the chest that landed him on his ass in the wet grass, apparently Draco didn't want to be stopped. He felt confused by the kindness and empathy in Harry and the usual cold pride that surrounded him had given way. He pounced on Harry, turning his head so he could punch him in the face, but his arm stopped abruptly when his eyes finally met with the jade ones, piercing his soul and tugging with wanton at his heart. The blood from his arm dripped on Harry's forehead and filled up the lightning bolt scar making Harry flinch in pain at the cool liquid on such a sensitive spot. Draco still stared, as he uncurled his fist and placed his blood soaked hand upon the side of Harry's face as if to stop him from turning his head, not that he was going to he was as entranced in Draco as Draco was in him. He could feel himself drowning in those silver eyes and see himself being drunk in by them. Minutes seemed like hours until Draco lowered his eyes and moved his face so close to Harry's, he could feel their lips trembling against each other's in anticipation and struggled restraint. His hand shook slightly against Harry's now blood stained cheek and he couldn't take it anymore he pressed his mouth against Harry's soft lips and felt the raw desire returned. Harry coaxed open his mouth with his lips and deepened their kiss letting Draco's velvet soft tongue flicker against his own in almost painful passion as he felt hands tangling themselves in his black hair. His own hands grabbed at the dew ridden grass underneath him trying to stop the falling sensation in the pit of his stomach as he felt reality and time stand still in the moment of perfect completion he was in. The minutes seemed like hours until Draco broke the closeness his face a mix of confusion and bewilderment. Then something snapped in him and he was on his feet running back toward the school, away from the insanity that had brought him so close to another, barely feeling the wet of the grass on his ankles or seeing the blurring landscape. Only when he sat alone in his room hidden under the green shroud of blanket in his room did the realization hit him; he had shown Harry Potter his real self and he had kissed him. The emotions swirled inside of him creating a whirlwind of confusion as he tried desperately to forget and find peace in sleep.

_He was under water again the monochromatic landscape surrounded him, the need for air burning his lungs and scorching its way into his brain. Overcome this, he thought willing the human dependence to seep away and then it was gone. Alone he floated; the absence of his beating heart created a silence like nothing he'd ever known, alternately disturbing him and delighting him. This was bliss to let the pain of thinking, of breathing, of living leave. This is what it is to die he thought as he stared down at his arms and discovered the blood flowing out of them, changing the black water to a shocking crimson in mer seconds. The lighter color revealed a figure in the distance and immediately he heard his heart start to beat and felt the panic of not breathing hit him. Struggling to get out of the sea of blood he found there was no surface and the figure drew closer making his heart pound and the blood race out of his arms. Why am I scared of it what is it that terrifies me so much? He asked himself, closing his eyes to block out the other person. He could sense when it was in front of him, feel it like it was an extension of himself. Before he opened his eyes he knew who it was, knew it would be those same clear emeralds taunting his very being. _


End file.
